-Blessed Teresa of Calcutta
Lately, when I pray I get this image of myself as a little kid sitting on Santa's knee. I realize that I am just listing all of the things I want God to give me. I go to Him over and over saying "I want this, and then this..". As I prayed during Mass last night it occurred to me that all I really need to do is pray for God's grace. God already knows all of the desires of my heart. More importantly he knows what I truly need to get me closer to Him and ultimately, heaven.
I realize that this is not a new concept. And I know that I have had this occur to me several times already. Sadly, I go through life forgetting so many things all the time. How to pray effectively, how to do sixth grade math, my kid's names, the list goes on. So, every once in a while I think the Holy Spirit gives me a nudge back in the right direction. In my spiritual life I have these amazing periods of inspiration and I feel God's grace flowing into me. Other times I really feel stuck in that "spiritual dryness" that so many have spoken about. When I get back on track I feel like I have to re-learn how to pray, listen and discern God's voice from my own.
"Prayer makes your heart bigger, until it is capable of containing the gift of God himself".
-Blessed Teresa of Calcutta
Okay, message received. I really need to get to confession. I guess this is why I feel like I've been praying and praying and feeling like no answers are coming. I know all things come in God's time but lately I've been feeling especially "blocked" from the answers I usually get through prayer. So, next stop, the confessional. In my heart, all I really want is to be pleasing to God. By His grace I hope to get there.
"Lord, lighten the heavy burden of my sins by which I have seriously offended you. Cleanse my mind and my heart. Like a bright lamp, guide me along the right path".
-St. John Damascene